I haven’t done one of these chatty posts where I rant about something I’m struggling with in a while, so today I thought I would talk with you about something that is very close to my heart: shyness.
I’ve been labeled as shy even when I didn’t know what the word meant. My teacher reports at school always said I was a very autonomous but too quiet student. I rarely put my hand up in class or took the initiative to talk to someone. But I believe my shyness got worse through the years as I realized what being shy meant. I started to see it as a part of me. I was shy so I had to behave like I was shy. I don’t know if this makes sense to you but I guess you just get used to being that way.
“Why are you so shy?” was a question I’ve been asked multiple times but never found an answer. I hate it, it’s so frustrating. It’s not that usual to ask someone why they are outgoing or confident. I didn’t chose to be shy, trust me – it kept me away from doing so many things. And why do I need to explain it? I felt like people were judging me for my personality, like being shy was a bad thing. So I started seeing it as a problem, something I had to change.
I’m also aware that being shy can come across as snobby, which is so not true. If people knew I’m just scared to make a fool out of myself, say the wrong thing and worrying too much about what others are thinking of me… Shyness is a fear of social judgement, it has to do with lack of confidence and insecurities.
A few years ago I realized that apart from being shy, I was also an introvert. Then again, I used to see it as a bad thing, something I had to change. Then I discovered Quiet which is a great book for those struggling to accept their quiet personality. It helped me understand that both introversion and shyness are not traits to be ashamed of, they’re part of who I am.
Life, age and stepping out of my comfort zone once in a while helped me with my shyness but there’s still a long way to go when it comes to being more confident and less worried about other’s opinion. If any of you can relate to this, I just want you to know you’re not the only one dealing with shyness. It’s okay to be more quiet than others, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. And, there’s a lot more to you than being “the shy one”, don’t ever forget that.
I would love to read your thoughts on shyness 🙂